Welcome to Weird Girls Post: THE ROMIE ISSUE, in which we meet the supremely talented, hilarious, and inimitable Romie Romak, whom I have somehow had the good fortune to know for nearly 10 years! Along with being the frontperson of band-turned-media collective GRYPT, Romie is a drag artist and comedian who also happens to be the only person worth following on Twitter.
We start with an interview with Romie about GRYPT, who recently released “The Cost of Living” on Deathbomb Arc. We also we touch upon such topics on the nu metal revival (which she predicted) and what constitutes the perfect meme. It’s then followed by a day-in-the-life of Romie Romak with photos by Ty Gerhardt. Romie and Ty will be putting together a husband/wife postpunk band together in lockdown called Prayer Closet, so be on the look out for that! As ever, thanks for reading Weird Girls Post. - MT
GRYPT
Let’s get some background on GRYPT. When did the band start? Who is in it? How do you collaborate now versus in the pre-pandemic world?
We had all been friends and collaborated on other projects in the past. At first Taylor [Shechet] and I were happy with what we were putting together on our own, but after contacting LYSANDRA to master our first outing and remix a track, we realized that her influence was a profound piece of the GRYPT aesthetic and that she should just be in the band with us. This was 2012-2013ish.
Pre-pandemic was a magical, innocent time. We used to enjoy long sessions of smoking weed, eating pizza that was unpleasantly spicy and working on music. We did all of this in person and had the pleasure of making our last record at Seahorse Sound studios with our friend Billy Burke. We even used a piece of the mixer that one of the Hanson brothers died on. Now we send things back and forth like schmucks.
In addition to releasing records, GRYPT has also done some multimedia projects like an RPG game and an audio drama, both of which were pretty successful. Do you see these projects as all part of your “discography” (for lack of a better term) or are they distinct works outside of what you do as a “band” or both?
Taylor explains this so much better than I do. As I see it, we started as a band and evolved into a media collective. It’s probably safe to say that music is our main export, but there is so much more we’re interested in doing that fits under the GRYPT aesthetic theme.
I see our fiction outings as just as important as our musical output and even plan to tell everyone it’s all part of one big canon and was totally premeditated.
Horror plays a big role in your music and aesthetic. Is there a particular genre or style of horror that you’re drawn to? What about it speaks to you?
GRYPT has always been an outlet for us to focus on horror. Nearly all of our songs reference some piece of horror media, be it movies, games or books. When we were working on our more recent music, everything we were writing was focused on daily horrors of modern life. “Tin Can Tomb” was pretty obviously about my anxiety around driving a car. More recently, “The Cost of Living” is a song about futility of survival in an unforgiving economic hellscape.
The Italo Horror greats were a large inspiration for the early direction of GRYPT, with their focus on shock value and mood lighting. As our work branched out to include me writing stories, we couldn’t help but incorporate fun stuff like creature horror into our brand, because monsters and ghouls are basically my favorite thing.
Obviously we can’t have shows right now, but if GRYPT could perform, what would your live show look like?
When we were all living in LA a few years ago, we would play out regularly in what I think was a pretty cool transposition of what we do to a live band format. That was great and we’d love to do that again, but we’ve also done performances where I’ve read pieces from our fiction while Taylor and LYSANDRA played synths and texture loops. I’d like to do that again, but with a fake motivational self-help conference direction. Ideally in the future we would have a long, abstract and boring intermission of me riffing nonsense between songs.
Visual projections are a big part of our show as it allows for further opportunity to beat our audience to death with film references.
As someone who was down with Nu Metal before it was cool to admit liking it again, what do you think of the nu metal reappraisal going on?
We predicted it happening because there is so much untapped potential there: references, riffs, etc. Everyone laughed when we told them Nu Metal was returning but they were WRONG and dumb. We made it a point to do several covers of Nu Metal classics. Our newest release includes our version of Orgy’s “re-creation.”
I think what Nu Metal started is only destined to go in a more vague, much more inclusive direction. This is a remake with serious potential.
What would be the first thing you’d tell people to listen to/look at, if they wanted to get into GRYPT?
I’d recommend they listen to our newest release as it’s probably our most refined effort so far and is probably more accessible sounding to the casual listener. If they’re interested in experiencing our other horror media, The Blob Stares Back is our opus. I still can’t believe that we were able to create a piece of original audio fiction that clocks in at feature film length. I’m really proud of what we did with that piece and am amazed I finished my part in a project of its type.
Any plans for 2021 that you’d like to share?
We have no idea what we’re doing. More new music seems essential. I would also like for GRYPT to produce more abstract video material, as our recent ‘Ded Talk’ for the Deathbomb Arc Halloween showcase was such a hit. Usually when musicians try to make films (i.e. Danzig) it’s really sad, but I’m not a real musician so I’m immune to this rule.
What other creative projects do you have going on? Who is Romie Romak when she’s not in GRYPT?
I’m also a drag artist and a comedian! I recommend following my online presence, as I’m always performing and outputting something stupid.
How do you find all the memes you post on social and what qualities do you look for?
A top tier meme in my eyes sows distrust in the tenacity of the fabric of reality. I want everyone to know you CAN safely place a hot bowl of tomato soup in the book return slot of your local public library. Your doctor DOES drink your pee in the other room after you turn it in. And most importantly, ZEBRAS ARE NOT REAL.
A Day In the Life of Romie Romak
Photos by Ty Gerhardt
Romie Romak, drag darling and gravewave ‘it girl,’ maps out a day in her fabulous and relatable life.
4am:
I awake in a state of sheer terror. Everything around me is both horrifyingly vast and restrictive. I check social media, tweet a morsel of complete nonsense and fall back into the more comfortable and familiar void of sleep.
6am:
Whenever I find a small discretionary sliver of the am, I like to spend time with my various fake “normal American consumer lady” social media accounts. These are manifestations of my chaotic-neutral alternate personas. It all started several years ago when Linda Normal found a live lobster in her to-go Chipotle bag hissing at her and decided to bring her terrifying tale of takeout grievance with Yelp. I was pleasantly surprised to find that her review stayed up for several months. My only regret was not having the privilege to be a fly on the wall during the confusing conversation where the store manager presumably asked the staff if a woman had come in complaining of a live lobster in her Chipotle.
Since then Linda Normal and her best girlfriends have been wreaking havoc, saving us all from 5G in blueberry Gogurt and subliminal messages in Veggie Tales. She will also gleefully tell Yelp in vivid detail about the time she got diarrhea from, but with no explanation how, a haircut. “I liked the haircut. What I DIDN’T LIKE was the diarrhea.”
7am:
I bathe rather than shower, which doesn’t bother me because I do so twice a day. I should be listening to something new and interesting but usually I just listen to the same podcasts about video resolutions and frame rates for dead media formats.
7:30am:
I beat my mug to perfection while watching the time vigilantly because I’m always running late.
8am:
I pee more or less every 4 minutes. Just as my mind is constantly flowing, peeing, peeing.
9am:
There’s a knock at the door. A cold jolt of fear shoots through me. My instinct tells me to hide, not to make a sound. Whomever is here is undoubtedly here to kill me, and they cannot know that I am inside.
9:30am:
I’ve quietly cancelled all engagements for the day, as I am still hiding from the unseen assailant who knocked at our door. There hasn’t been a second knock and I haven’t heard any footsteps, but who knows? Time to start peeing. Hiding, peeing, hiding, peeing, peeing.
10am:
It’s time to eat crumpled dry ramen by myself, huddled in a corner, attempting to make as little noise as possible.
11am:
By this time I am either sharing freshly caught memes of the day or posting self indulgent nonsense to my story, or both. Most of my jokes that I want to use later or even rework into something different start with being dumped haphazardly onto twitter. I consider Twitter a bit of a stream-of-consciousness idea notepad that is basically private because I have so few followers.
12:00 pm:
I spend as much time looking at cute animals as possible to subdue existential terror
1:00:
If I’m working at home on some sort of project, this is usually the time of day I finally find productivity. eBay lurking always tempts me. I’ve always wanted to experience The Blues Brothers video game because it appears to be extremely cursed.
3:00
The knocking at the door is back. I freeze and nearly drop my mug of cheeto juice. A feeling of abject terror paralyzes me. This time I refuse silence but instead say, “lardroom…Lardroom”
The knocking repeats in what can only be complex code. I wonder what it means. I visually check that the door is locked and slowly walk up to the viewing portal. No one is there. There is no figure yet the knocking still persists somehow. This defies all science and explanation. With a trembling hand, I slowly unlatch and open the door. No physical being is anywhere to be seen, but I feel a cold wind blow through me.
4:00
I’m staring at the ceiling wondering what kind of lasagna to make Garfield when I get to hell when I notice that I have a new voicemail. I’ve never checked my voice messages before, so now seems as good a time as ever. The contents of this newest recording cause me to immediately pee in terror. It’s the sound of the knocking from earlier, the same oddly rhythmic knocking that could only be code. I ask myself if I’m being stalked by a physical or supernatural being but receive no sign from my surroundings.
7:30 pm:
I throw a pizza out the window, aiming for it to land on a bladed electric fan I unsheathed and positioned facing upwards. The pizza is chopped to bits and explodes outward like a rose blossoming in the void.
8:00 pm:
I tweet a conspiracy thread about all of our butts being secretly fake.
9:00 pm:
My husband asks me why I cancelled my obligations for the day and threw a pizza out the window. My only response is to stare blankly ahead and repeat, “Lardroom.. Lardroom…”
10:00 pm:
My phone beeps repeatedly with notifications from Yelp. Linda Normal and constituents have new comments under each of their reviews. Each comment is the same.
LARDROOM
LARDROOM
LARDROOM
11:00pm:
I watch Grey’s Anatomy while screaming in abject terror until my throat bleeds, call it a day and get some sleep…after ensuring that I had remembered to floss and moisturize, of course!